Lies about Pies

Standard
Pies love you
You’ll attain mysterious powers by eating only pies for a year
You can never become a pie
True pies must be made entirely of meat
Pies will never betray you
Pies contain more useful knowledge than books
^-This includes books about pies
Pies are our future
Pies are our past
You cannot grill a pie
You cannot boil a pie
You cannot converse with a pie
Pies dream only of revenge
Fruit pies are not delicious
Meat pies are not delicious
Pine pies are extra delicious
Tarts are just as good as pies
Cakes are too
Only humans make pies
In rare cases, pies have made humans
I am definitely not a pie
3.14159 = pie
The history of pie is unrecorded
Battle not with pies, lest ye become a pie
Pies always fly first class
I did not just see a banner ad for pie
There is nothing more to say about pies
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