The Chain Letter of Doom: The Middle of the End: Part 1

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“Yes Elodie, I shall eat all the pudding,” Rika bellowed in a voice that came from everywhere at once, “Then all the pudding shall eat me. We will be one and we shall rule this planet with our deliciousness. What reason would I have for helping you? Humans have done nothing for me. Chtorgvinektonug was cute and fluffy and has now offered me a lifetime of pudding and a position in his New Earth government as Grand High Wurglefeist in exchange for my help in destroying all that is. Not much of a choice, eh?”

“You can’t do that!” said Elodie, “also, what is a Grand High Wurglefeist?”

“Not sure,” replied everything/Rika, “but it’s grand and high, so it must be important, right? We’ll make the awesomest evil dictatorship ever!”

Elodie thought about this while Rika (who was now approximately barn-sized and bucket-shaped) scooped up and devoured a handful of Cosbywolves.

“Aren’t those your allies? Why do you eat them?” asked Elodie.

“mostly because I want to. They taste like pudding!”

“You’ve become a monster!”

“Hmm. I guess I have. I should go and flatten Tokyo. It’s what we monsters do, eh?”

Bread Pudding 1

Bread Pudding 1 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

And she schlompfed into the distance, due west. Somehow, her steps appeared and sounded laborious and heavy, and yet she was moving at roughly the speed of a tsunami with a full tank of gas and freshly painted red stripes.

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