Before the continuation of this story, I feel the need to clarify some things.

Mark Twain photo portrait.

Not exactly my face, but close.

1. I am the ‘being’ that Jephrold Gratchfield McNerrister diFlansworth-Smythe predicted might someday read his bench carvings and transcribe them into a more readable format, namely, a blog. I had originally created the blog for the purpose of recording graffiti I had found in an old elevator. Some of you may know of it.
2. I came across diFlansworth-Smythe’s first benchstory in the ruins of Umbleheim on a dig long ago (I am not an archeologist, but I enjoy shoveling) and eventually found and transcribed the other benches in the years leading up to now. This process took longer than one might expect because I also had to translate the tales into English from the long dead language of the author, unknown even to myself. I learned just enough to translate from a teacher in the Nap Lands, whom I could only visit during light sleep. I am unfathomably grateful that I could remember what I learned there after waking, but it was still slow work. Especially while working on the parts that you’ve already read by now, in which nothing really happens. Nothing is something that happens frequently in real life and we must accept that true stories will include it.
3. Some of the stories I found on the walls of the old elevator end abruptly one or two chapters from the beginning. I have entered them into the blog anyway and if I find their continuations somewhere else, I will post them too. If not, I likely won’t.
-your translator,
Chandler R


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