I’m not sure who or what told me this, but for my whole life, I have believed that I was missing out on something important by having never eaten a Twinkie. It was probably product-placement in a TV show I liked as a kid that gave me this idea. It no longer matters.
Whatever the reason, I just never felt the need to seek out a Twinkie and consume it. They never looked all that appetizing to me and the legends about their infinite shelf-life (not actually true) probably didn’t help. However, yesterday, I saw them on a list of things I could add to my online grocery delivery order, and I did.
When it arrived a few hours later, I chose to put it not in the refrigerator or cabinet with the other food, but directly into my mouth (with help from a fork and scissors to open the plastic package). I did not eat it all at once, but in multiple bites, which probably didn’t need saying. What does need saying is what happened next.
Which is what I will tell you after stalling just a bit more. This post is still too short and I mean to fix that by way of unnecessary sentences like this one.
OK, I’m done.
What happened was nothing special. I chewed and I swallowed. I was left with a funny artificial aftertaste and that was that. I didn’t dislike it other than that, but I didn’t feel the need to eat more.
I still have the other Twinkie from that two-pack in my refrigerator. If you live near me, you are free to come and take it. I don’t like wasting food (though I do it frequently).
And my story is now told. Please extract its lessons and apply them to your own life. Or something.