Opinion: Twinkies are not magical


I’m not sure who or what told me this, but for my whole life, I have believed that I was missing out on something important by having never eaten a Twinkie. It was probably product-placement in a TV show I liked as a kid that gave me this idea. It no longer matters.

English: Hostess Twinkies. Yellow snack cake w...

English: Hostess Twinkies. Yellow snack cake with cream filling. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Whatever the reason, I just never felt the need to seek out a Twinkie and consume it. They never looked all that appetizing to me and the legends about their infinite shelf-life (not actually true) probably didn’t help. However, yesterday, I saw them on a list of things I could add to my online grocery delivery order, and I did.

When it arrived a few hours later, I chose to put it not in the refrigerator or cabinet with the other food, but directly into my mouth (with help from a fork and scissors to open the plastic package). I did not eat it all at once, but in multiple bites, which probably didn’t need saying. What does need saying is what happened next.

Which is what I will tell you after stalling just a bit more. This post is still too short and I mean to fix that by way of unnecessary sentences like this one.

OK, I’m done.

What happened was nothing special. I chewed and I swallowed. I was left with a funny artificial aftertaste and that was that. I didn’t dislike it other than that, but I didn’t feel the need to eat more.

I still have the other Twinkie from that two-pack in my refrigerator. If you live near me, you are free to come and take it. I don’t like wasting food (though I do it frequently).

And my story is now told. Please extract its lessons and apply them to your own life. Or something.


One thought on “Opinion: Twinkies are not magical

  1. mister S

    luckily twinkies keep indefinitely.
    they are better when deep fried, though that is perhaps not worth the trouble to do at home.

    tastycakes are superior to hostess products insofar as processed snack cakes go.

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