New story coming soon: The Legend of Shreena the Shrimp Wizard


Ideas for poems have stopped coming to me for now, so I’m starting another short (possibly longer than my usual) story. I will inevitably decide it was a bad idea and want to abandon it like I usually do when I start something so I’m telling you, possibly existent reader, before that can happen. It will be posted in small pieces here starting soon. I’m not doing this through NaNoWriMo because I don’t think it will be a novel, but that was part of what made me decide to write more.


Plan for the future

Sėla village, Utena district, Lithuania

Sėla village, Utena district, Lithuania (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It may look like I’m not doing anything here, but it is not so.

I am working on a new short story; possibly longer than my usual. I am not posting much about about it because it is mostly just a sack of ideas that need to stew in my head for a little while before becoming something tangible. The end result may take time, but will surely revolutionize the world.

Is this topic getting old?


To bury a bear,

one must be bold

above or below

the obstreperous wald

Update on the doings done by me while not blogging


Lately, The Slowest of all Possible Elevators has not maintained up the excellent function and I apologize for that.
I started working on a new story and I’ve since abandoned it and started planning to work on something else.
I was writing a scary story for a contest by a podcast that I sometimes listen to. I now know that the contest is over, but I’m going to do it anyway. This is a big challenge for me as I tend to automatically lighten anything that would otherwise be scary in my writing.

Katya Sander, Drama, Horror, Science Fiction, ...

Katya Sander, Drama, Horror, Science Fiction, Experimental, Etc., 2009 (Photo credit: 16 Miles of String)

I am fully aware that I am sabotaging myself by telling you about this plan. I am doing so because I am treating my not-contest-contest as a yes-contest-entry and giving you the chance to do the same. I will be the only judge, so I will probably win, but not necessarily. All entries must be short and full of words. I don’t actually expect any entries, but I like being wrong.

Possible inspiration source found


My friend, colleague, and occasional research assistant who has commented here under many names, most recently Adler, informed me of a book I should read yesterday. It is called The Weird: A Compendium of Strange and Dark Stories. I quickly purchased the ebook version and started reading. I think the digital edition was a good choice because the book is spleen-blindingly large and on paper, it would likely weigh more than I do. I am reading it, both because these stories are exactly the sort of thing I like, and in hopes that it might inspire me toward writing more stories myself.

Story Collection - Summer 2012

Story Collection – Summer 2012 (Photo credit: Pesky Library)


Worst Ideas #4: A superhero comic series by me


I’m not sure if these are actually bad ideas or not. It’s just a bunch of character descriptions for a comic book that hasn’t been written or drawn yet, so I guess it could go either way.

Hobbyist Mailman – His (or her) superpower is deliver mail without being employed by the postal service and enjoying it greatly. People will get their letters sooner than expected, but will not notice who brought them.

The Jaywalker – Born with the unfortunate power to turn invisible while crossing the street in the wrong place or at the wrong time. Eventually learns to use it for the benefit of humanity (how she does this must be decided).

Mr. Many Pens – Mysterious villain who has large pen collection, used for something diabolical.

Professor Recently – Has already done whatever the writer says he is doing thirty-five minutes previously.

Mr. Eventually – Can magically extend deadlines. Has been in college for as long as anyone can remember.

The Baker – S/he bakes.

People Person – A person who appears to observers as several people. The illusion only works if you don’t know about it.

The Gerrymanderer – Can revise city limits by will alone. Clothes are a map of current location.

Cod-Walloper Bram – Fights crime by beating it with fresh fish.

Hooliganesque Ambient Fishmonger – Arch-nemesis of Cod Walloper Bram.  sells non-iced fish in a belligerant and disruptive manner.

Fictional Man – Can enter any fictional work and influence its events. A champion of the nonexistent and oppressed.


The Journal of Stenward “Sten” Grootsman, Hermit Fisherman


Today was a somewhat abnormal day for me. I woke up at dawn as usual and gathered my supplies for the morning’s catch.
Outside my driftwood shack, the air was pleasant. In fact, it was the exact same air that flowed freely inside the shack, which was fortunate because I might already be ill if it was unpleasant.
My tiny island home of Stensland was just as

English: Sagisi Island Beach

Image via Wikipedia

alive with birdsong and lapping waves as it normally is this time of year. I looked at my dog, Zebi, and smiled. We both knew the fishing ahead of us would be successful.  So much so that if there other people in Stensland, there would likely be enough for them too. Oh well. Being a professional hermit has its advantages as well, I thought to myself as I put on my ancient and thoroughly begrotted cap.
Zebi and I headed down to the beach. The shore was only three meters from my shack, but we traveled very slowly so reaching the end would feel like more of an accomplishment. We had walked almost two feet when Zebi began barking and dashed ahead. I followed her increased pace to see what she had found. It was like nothing I had ever seen before.
Lying on the sand in front of me was an emaciated, but otherwise completely vital young man, fast asleep.  His head was completely covered by what appeared to be a sort of jellyfish, though his chest rose and fell with the indications of normal breathing. His clothing, as well as being understandably soaked, was overgrown with algae and patches of seaweed. Looking back, I’m not sure why I wasn’t more afraid, especially since he was the first other human being I had seen in four years. Curiosity, maybe.
Anyway, I dragged the man up to a point where the waves could not reach him, put a blanket over him (the one I wasn’t using as clothing), and went on with my day.
Against my expectations, I caught only one fish. Oddly enough, it was a freshwater salmon, which are not native to the middle of the ocean. I sat down and puzzled over this for some time, but was interrupted. The man who had washed ashore that morning was standing right behind me and screaming unintelligible gibberish.