A song for Tardigrades

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to be read with great enthusiasm by early 80’s rock band

Echiniscus_L

Tardigrade!
You are wet, but you are not a beeeeaaar
Tardigrade!
You are mossy, but you’re not a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig
Tardigrade!
And probably not a very good peeeeet
[drum solo]
Tardigrade!
You can live almost anywhere
Tardigrade!
Like volcanos and icebergs and even in spaaaaace
Tardigrade!
You got good grades ‘cause you were never tardyyyyy
Tardigrade!
You are half a millimeter at moooooost
Tardigrade!
And for you, I wrote a very short soooong
Tardigrade!
(the best animal)
Tardigrade!
(probably not a very good pet)
Tardigrade!
(has eight legs)
Tardigrade!
(cryptobiosis)
Tardigrade.

Ratings of Things in my Apartment 2

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Door – Without it, no one could ever enter or leave. Furthermore, it keeps out the man-eating bear that might be waiting in the hallway. 10/10

Chairs – They give people somewhere to sit. People like sitting, so I am glad they exist. One is less comfortable. 8/10

Lamps – They let me see when the sun is gone, which is good. Sometimes, bulbs burn out and are hard to replace. 6/10