The Best Song Written about Cat Food This Month So Far by Anyone


Capital letters mean emphasis; more letters mean longer sound

Caaat FOOD
Is a food for cats
And they eat this FOOD
Although it’s not rats

Caaat FOOD
is eaten by cats
And they won’t say thanks
‘Cause cats don’t do that

caaat FOOOOD!

It’s just long enough a cat food commercial


Possible improvements to this taco


I wish this taco 
wasn’t filled with owls
the taste is good
but their texture is foul
and I’ve no idea
what it will do to my bowels
the cook could have at least defeathered them 

Hypothetical Cuisine


Now that we have established the lack of wonderment and amazingness to be found in a Twinkie, I feel the need to find something better. Since I suspect that most existing foods already exist, I think I should make new foods. I will not actually prepare and serve them, since that would take away their essential mysteriosity. I will just name them and allow you, the reader, to do what you will. If what you will includes cooking them, tell me how it went and how it tasted.


Macadamia Mortuary Surprise

Fire-roasted Lemonade

Lemon/Lime/Lagomorph Loaf

Asparagus-chip cookies





Gluten-free Borff